I'm on TV again!

Folks, set your DVRs! If you have the Chiller channel (according to their press release, 40 million of you do), check out Chiller 13: The Decade's Scariest Movie Moments, which premieres this Friday (December 17th). It's a countdown of the decade's scariest movies as chosen by them (but I don't argue with many of their picks - The Strangers, Paranormal Activity, The Ring, etc), featuring commentary by a wide variety of folks, including genre legends like Tony Todd and Greg Nicotero, up and comers like Lucky McKee and Ti West, a few comedians, and yours truly. And unlike the Halloween doc that aired on Bio in October, I'm actually in it quite a bit (too much, if you ask me), so don't worry about missing me if you run to the fridge. And yes, I say "balls" again (well, "ballsy", close enough). Enjoy! Let me know what you think! And make fun of my nice boy shirt!

HMAD Screening: The Faculty

UPDATE: Schedule permitting, original screenwriters David Wechter and Bruce Kimmel will be joining us for a pre-movie Q&A!



As I recently discovered, Robert Rodriguez's The Faculty holds up quite well (save for a Roland Emmerich joke), so I am happy to bring it back to theaters as the next Horror Movie A Day screening at the New Beverly next Saturday, September 15th!

One of the most enjoyable screenings I've done so far (and certainly the most crowded) was Rodriguez's previous film, From Dusk Till Dawn, so it should be a lot of fun. I wish he'd focus more on horror again instead of kids' movies and Machete sequels, because all three of his genre efforts are a blast to watch, especially with a big crowd. The energy he brings to his shooting style and go-for-broke performances he gets from his actors (even Josh Hartnett is more fun than usual here) seems to infect the crowd as well, so I suspect this will be a damn good time.

It's also well-timed, as I know a lot of LA folk will be heading to Austin for Fantastic Fest just a few days later. Not only was Faculty shot in Austin, but it also stars Elijah Wood, a FF staple who hangs out and enjoys the movies just like the rest of us non-world saving schmoes (Wood has saved us from comets, alien teachers, and, uh, whatever Sauron is). And Harry Knowles - who was one of the earliest/biggest supporters of the Alamo and its festivals - pops up as the school's film teacher. Appetites shall be whetted!

The screening is at 11:59 pm on Saturday, September 15th. The New Beverly is located at 7165 Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles (90036), 2 blocks west of La Brea. Street parking is widely available (Formosa is your best bet), and tickets are 8 bucks CASH ONLY at the door (there's an ATM at the Valero gas station at La Brea/Beverly). You can also buy an advance ticket from Brownpapertickets soon - I'll update when that option is available. And as always, feel free to steal the poster below and pimp the screening on your site/blog/Twitter/Facebook/local post office. Let's pack that place! I want a deafening cheer when Jon Stewart gives his climactic thumbs up!

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Repo Winners Chosen!

I know I was a bit late, but that is due to the fact that I had a lot more entries than expected, and quality entries to boot! Everyone who entered (and followed the rules) did a great job, and I sincerely wish I could give everyone something. I also want to say THANK YOU to everyone who entered for selflessly promoting the film, which is above and beyond what can usually be expected of fans.

And in the end, I had so much trouble choosing between two finalists that I said "fuck it" and arranged to have another CD signed so both of them could win! So everyone give a virtual round of applause to "CodyStacey" and "Annaliab"! Both of them went all out with their entries, and also seemingly got the most "awareness" spread to others (based on number of myspace friends/reader responses). Anna even did a recreation of one of the Repo songs!

So CONGRATS to them and again, a big THANKS to all who entered! And just because the contest is over doesn't mean you have to stop spreading the Repo love... tell your friends about it, sign up for the official message board... all that good stuff. Who knows, maybe we'll have another contest closer to release!

Dr Giggles Q&A

Since more people check out HMAD per half hour than showed up for Dr Giggles, I'm guessing the number of you who didn't see the Q&A with Larry Drake "in person" is pretty high. So check below for a video that was shot from the front row! Enjoy! And if you DID come, thanks again! And be proud! You're part of a very special select group.

New Short!

Calling all Carpenter nerds: this short by my buddy BenDavid Grabinski is chock full of homages to Carpenter, including a shooting location from They Live! Even if you don't like Carpenter (heathen!), it's simply a great short; it's a lot of fun and features great performances/chemistry by Brandon Routh and Bret Harrison (plus vocal cameos by Michael Rosenbaum and Mary Elizabeth Winstead). And best of all, it's a stylish ORIGINAL short that isn't an obnoxious "gritty" take on some beloved video game or cartoon. Head on over to the OFFICIAL SITE to check it out!

P.S. Make sure you watch the entire credits - one of the best laughs comes at the very end!

Six Sites Remember The Class Of 1981

A couple weeks back, I was asked to join in with the titans at ShockTillYouDrop, Fearnet, Dread Central, Bloody Disgusting, and Arrow In The Head, writing a mammoth joint article that paid tribute to 30 films (5 per site) from the prolific and rather important year of 1981. The slasher boom, the trio of landmark werewolf films, the independent explosion... we could have easily done TEN films each and still had more to discuss.

I, of course, had trouble picking just five, due to the aforementioned slasher boom. Plus, I didn't want to cover just slashers. So after picking My Bloody Valentine (of course) and also Graduation Day, which I wanted to make amends to since my review is fairly negative (it has since grown on me), I went with some more obscure, kind of hard to classify movies: The Pit, Dead & Buried, and Don't Go Near The Park, all of which I could (and have) describe(d) as "kind of batshit".

I usually don't plug my BadassDigest articles over here, but since I'm credited as "Horror Movie A Day's Brian Collins" I figured I'd alert you all to it rather than copy it here as originally planned, since there are already full reviews for each of those films on this site. Guess that's the burden site whores like myself have to bear (hey, I write for Bloody Disgusting too!). So head on over to Badass to check out my piece, and don't forget to check out the other sites! All of them have links to all the others, so feel free to just go in a chain rather than open them all at once.

Arrow In The Head
Bloody Disgusting
Dread Central
Fearnet
ShockTillYouDrop

Poll Topic

I know literally hundreds of other folks watch a horror movie a day in October. They are lazy. But I still fear them, and I feel that I should do something to keep HMAD sticking out a bit during the month. Hence the new POLL (look to the right under my goofy picture), which will close on September 30th at 11:59 PM PST. If you have an "other" option, feel free to write it in the comments on this thread.

HMAD Is Famous-y!

The good folks over at Bloginterviewer.com have chosen to profile HMAD. Check it out here. And vote for it as well! Apparently I can be up to 25 dollars richer if it votes highly enough. Which would mean I would have 26 dollars to my name.

Shout out!

Some of you may have noticed I installed a counter that tracks how many hits I am getting. By my mathmagician skills, I estimate Horror Movie A Day is getting about 40 visitors a day. That's pretty damn good I think, considering how few 'hit' or 'known' movies I review. Not like folks are scouring the internet for Messiah of Evil reviews.

But still, a very small percentage of readers are commenting, which is something I highly encourage. So in addition to yet another plea for new readers to post their thoughts (or suggestions) in the comment section, I'd like to take time to give a big THANKS to HMAD readers Scott, U Haul Frankenstein, Kolleen, Texas Chris, Darkko, Jimmy Jangles, and Anonymous for keeping the comments section alive! Without you I'd just be talking to myself, and I can do that without inflaming my carpal tunnel.

Molting Issue 2 Now Available!

If you picked up issue 1 last month, or haven't yet checked out Repo creator Terrance Zdunich's new endeavor The Molting, you need to head over to the Official Site ASAP to pick up the newest issue! This odd and darkly humorous story is a 12 issue limited series, and Zdunich has only begun to scratch the surface of his vision of a burnt-out Anaheim (yes, the home of the "Happiest Place on Earth"). Issues are also available signed; check out the site and get on board!

HMAD's 4th Annual End Of Year Awards!!

And so another year of Horror Movie A Day-ing has come to an end. I actually have less reviews than ever for 2010 (‘only’ 400!), due to Lost Episode A Day taking up some attention (mine, not anyone else’s – I’ll be glad when it’s done), some occasional odd jobs (anyone catch my typo in the Hatchet II end credits yet?), and even an acting job! As mentioned HERE, I played the monster in a short film – I had a blast and can’t wait for you folks to see it.

I also took it easier when it came to festivals; writing brief capsule reviews for movies I didn’t think much of or didn’t have a lot to say about. And thanks to the delightfully angry “anonymous commenter” on the review for one festival movie that hasn’t been distributed yet, I won’t even be doing that much for future fests. I try to be positive here, but I HAVE to be honest, and if I can’t without someone threatening to punch me in the face, then I’ll just stick to movies that have already been distributed as much as possible. I’ve long had a policy of not watching “screener” DVDs of unreleased films after a similar incident occurred a few years back, but I guess I’ll be applying it to festivals as well. Apparently, some folks think it’s OK to charge 10 bucks a ticket to see their film, but not to point out its flaws. (I do, however, appreciate the ego boost I got by suggesting my negative review could hurt a movie’s chances of being distributed. Like there’s a decision maker out there going “Well... what does BC think?” HAH!)

But while there may be fewer reviews to choose from, there are still plenty of awards to dish out! So without further ado, I hereby present the 4th Annual Horror Movie A Day Awards! Hosted by, er, me. Again.

(As always, this is just for fun and focuses on nonsensical categories, and includes the movies that I SAW this year, not necessarily ones that were RELEASED this year. For a more traditional “Best of 2010” list, head on over to Bloody-Disgusting.)

Enjoy!

HORROR MOVIE A DAY’S BEST/WORST OF 2010!!!

Best Sequel To A Movie I Haven’t Seen: ZOMBI 4: AFTER DEATH

I ended up seeing Zombi 3 later in the year (not that it matters, none of the Zombi’s have a goddamn thing to do with each other), but 4 is way better anyway, featuring an amazing score, zombies that move fast or slow depending on the director’s mood I guess, and a hall of fame line in “The only way to stop ‘em is to blow its head off!”. And it’s much faster paced than most of these things (even the good ones like Fulci’s “original” Zombi), making it an ideal viewing.

Worst Sequel To A Movie I Haven’t Seen: GHOULIES II

I saw this borefest at the New Bev, after being assured it was better than the first one. Well, if this was “better”, I will take their word for it and probably never ever watch the original. It took the entire movie for the Ghoulies to finally wreak havoc around the carnival, and there’s a little person in the movie but he never fights one of them, which I thought was the point of hiring the guy in the first place.



Best Batshit Movie: HAUSU

I could watch this movie every day and never get sick of it. Or understand it. Making Raw Force look like the paragon of logic and subtlety, nearly every minute of the film is crammed with stuff guaranteed to make you either laugh or yell “WHAT?!?!?” (usually both at the same time), and never ceases to be entertaining – even the end credits are fun. Essential viewing in a theater.

Worst Batshit Movie: THE BOX

Would it kill Richard Kelly to make some fucking sense? The part of the movie that he took from the original story was fine. However that’s only the first third. The rest of the movie is pure Kelly, which means a lot of babble about vessels, something about aliens, incoherent character behavior, and the total lack of anyone that resembles a real human being. The only good thing to come out of watching this was asking the lovely Gillian Jacobs to explain her character to me at Comic Con (I was inexplicably doing press for Community). Luckily, she didn’t get it either.



Best 1970’s No Budget Monster Movie: ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES

I had always assumed this movie was corny as hell and probably pretty boring, but I couldn’t be more wrong. Some of the humor is dated, but I was still laughing quite a bit, and the out of nowhere musical numbers were largely enjoyable. And the tomatoes weren’t giant monsters like the ones on the VHS cover – they were normal to pumpkin sized, which is way better. A total delight.

Worst 1970’s No Budget Monster Movie: BEWARE! THE BLOB

My god what a horrid pile of filth. Painfully unfunny (despite almost non-stop attempts to be so) and boring to boot, this is the sort of movie that I wish was forever lost due to poor storage or something. Nope, it’s available on digital formats, so future generations will forever run the risk of seeing it.



Best Use Of William Forsythe: DEAR MR. GACY

Not a particularly great movie, but Forsythe is top-notch in his performance as the notorious killer, going over the top only when required and being genuinely scary at times, something he hasn’t really done in ages. It’s also a ballsy role for the guy – the script doesn’t tiptoe around Gacy’s terrible sexual preferences (at one point he encourages the hero to rape his pre-teen brother). Someone get him a meaty role in a theatrical movie again! And no, not you, Mr. Zombie.

Worst Use Of William Forsythe: THE RIG

Forsythe dies about 30 minutes into this thing, despite top billing. Worse, he never gets to fight the monster, and spends most of his screentime arguing with his daughter about her lifestyle. On an oil rig. Look, I like the guy, but he’s no Bruce Willis – don’t tarnish his filmography by having him rip off the finest oil driller movie ever made just because he’s got bills to pay.



Movie That Didn’t Live Up To Its Title: SUCK

I wasn’t expecting much from Suck, but it turned out to be a pretty enjoyable and funny little flick. Fun cameos from Alice Cooper and Moby (gleefully mocking his vegan lifestyle), a winning lead performance by writer/director Rob Stefaniuk, and a smoking hot lead actress (Jessica Paré) all combined to make one of the year’s best comedic horror movies. Decent songs too.

Movie That 100% Lived Up To Its Title: DISMAL

Oh yes, you certainly were. In fact, it may be the worst movie I saw all year (it’s one of only nine that I labeled “Crap” – a record low!). Every single scene in the movie was lifted almost verbatim from a different movie; Christ, they even ripped off Hatchet at one point. 'Dismal' is almost too kind.



Best Confined Movie: DEVIL

It’s a shame that the producer of the film (M. Night Groanalot) overshadowed the ACTUAL film, which was a tight, suspenseful little gem. And kudos to John Dowdle for keeping it visually interesting despite the obvious limitations of shooting in a cramped elevator. Luckily, I’m seeing folks renting it on DVD and discovering its worth, so hopefully future “Night Chronicles” will be forthcoming.

Worst Confined Movie: TRUNK

A girl in a trunk is driven around by a serial killer. Could have been decent, if the writer knew how to write dialogue besides “Fuck you!” or “No, FUCK YOU!”. Or if the director knew how to mix up his backgrounds – the guy drives around for hours yet it’s always the same area of downtown LA that we see rolling by. Oh, the director and the writer are the same guy (Straw Weisman), so at least I know to avoid future films from only one person instead of two.



Best Movie I Had To Put Effort Into Seeing: COLD PREY II

Anchor Bay released the first Cold Prey a while ago, but they still haven’t done the same for this sequel. So I finally tracked down an all-region copy, at a price a bit higher than I usually like to shell out for a “blind buy”, from a mysterious 3rd party seller. Luckily, the movie lived up to the original quite ably, and is actually one of the better “picks up right where the first one left off” sequels I can recall, despite a change in director and a fairly obvious source of inspiration (our survivor is taken to a hospital....).

Worst Movie I Had To Put Effort Into Seeing: PLAGUERS

I had a screener of this thing, but it conked out after a few minutes, so I had to drive out to the store to rent their copy, which I had passed by several times over the past year or so (partly due to the fact that I had a screener). Turns out I was making the right call – it wasn’t even worth the effort of putting it into the DVD player, let alone making a trip to Blockbuster to get a working copy. Some of the girls were hot, but that doesn’t nearly make up for the inept action, nonsensical plot (which rips off Alien enough that someone should be sued) and beyond laughable FX – the old Star Trek looked better than this, and I mean BEFORE they cleaned it up for HD.



Best Movie My Readers Kept Demanding I See: OUTPOST

A couple of folks have been all but showing up at my door with a copy in one hand and a gun in the other trying to get me to watch this movie, but once I saw it I understood why – it’s pretty awesome. Sort of like The Keep crossed with The Descent, it also features the awesome Ray Stevenson, who deserves better than DTV efforts (even good ones – the guy should be getting Gerard Butler’s career!). Supposedly a sequel is on the way; it won’t take a lot of arm breaking to get me to see it.

Worst Movie My Readers Kept Demanding I See: SCREAM 3

Ever since I posted reviews of Scream 1 and 2 back in October of 2007, folks have been asking for me to review 3, and I kept saying that I didn’t want to watch it again because I didn’t like it. But then Dimension announced (finally) that Scream 4 would be going ahead, so I figured I’d give it a shot – maybe the surplus of bad slashers I've seen due to HMADing would give me a new appreciation for it. Nope! Still sucks. In fact I like it less every time.



Best Killer Tiger Movie: BURNING BRIGHT

While I was disappointed that Meat Loaf never got to fight/get eaten by the tiger, I was surprised how suspenseful this “could-have-been-a-disaster” movie was. I could watch Briana Evigan read stereo manuals for 90 minutes, but she actually puts in a performance to match her looks here, and I enjoyed Garret Dillahunt’s misguided villain as well. Bonus points for using a real tiger!

Worst Killer Tiger Movie: MANEATER

They named a whole series after this thing, you’d think it would be pretty good. But alas, even Gary Busey can’t save this snoozefest. In fact, I think if you make a Gary Busey vs. a Tiger movie and it’s BORING then you have officially failed at life.



Best Addition To The Nightmare On Elm Street Legacy: NEVER SLEEP AGAIN

OK, maybe four hours is a bit much on paper, but watch the film and then tell me what they should cut. Every anecdote (including several candid ones about things that went wrong) is worth listening to, and the filmmakers assembled almost everyone you could possibly want (no Johnny Depp or Laurence Fishburne though – boo!) from the series; over a hundred participants if I’m not mistaken. Add in a 2nd disc packed with entertaining bonus features, and you have a set you can be proud to place next to your boxed set.

Worst Addition To The Nightmare On Elm Street Legacy: NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2010)

The more I thought about this movie, the more I hated it. I didn’t get as angry when I saw it as I did for RZ’s Halloween or Gus Van Sant’s Psycho, because I don’t love the original Nightmare as much as I do those films. However, stacked against them, Nightmare is actually the worst of the bunch (and certainly the worst Platinum Dunes movie), because there was absolutely nothing to suggest anyone involved had any creative ideas whatsoever – there is simply no reason for this movie to exist except for PD to complete their “set” of available franchises to try (and fail) to revive. Fuck you, movie.



Best Movie To Inexplicably Get A Theatrical Release: BLACK WATERS OF ECHO’S POND

Not a particularly good movie, but no worse than the average After Dark entry, and featured a few ringers (Robert Patrick, Danielle Harris) plus those smoking hot Babysitter Twins from Grindhouse. Wasn’t even the worst movie I saw that week, and kudos to the filmmakers for getting it into theaters.

Worst Movie To Inexplicably Get A Theatrical Release: CHAIN LETTER

This piece of shit has been on the shelf for a couple of years, and then suddenly found itself in theaters on the busiest release day of the year (October 1st, which also saw the release of the long-delayed Case 39, the well done but pointless Let Me In, and the “cameo” theatrical release of Hatchet II, plus 1-2 other non-horror films). Hopelessly outdated and wholly idiotic, this is the sort of movie that doesn’t even deserve to go direct to DVD. What the hell was it doing alongside The Social Network at the multiplex?



Best Asylum Movie: MEGA PIRANHA

The biggest problem with most Asylum movies is that they only have enough action for the trailer, with the rest of the movie comprised of people talking or people looking at action we can’t see. Not the case with Mega Piranha! It’s pretty packed with action – piranha dive-bombing buildings alongside the ocean, a Bourne-like hero fighting folks, car chases... easily the best thing they’ve ever done. A few more like this and they might actually get a legitimate quote to put on their DVD cases (the ones they use are fake).

Worst Asylum Movie: PARANORMAL ENTITY

Released so quickly that the film didn’t even have an IMDb page when the disc hit shelves, this is actually the rare Asylum ripoff that can’t even use its low budget as an excuse – the film it was cribbing from cost about as much. It tells you that everyone dies right at the start (and adds in some nonsense about incestuous rape that never occurs), and then takes 80 minutes of tedium and 2 minutes of action to finally get to that point. And I don’t even know who to blame, because the movie didn’t even have credits!



Best Movie Called Salvage: SALVAGE (2009)

An odd hybrid of home invasion and monster movie, the film isn’t perfect, but it’s a cool idea and well made despite obvious limitations (like shooting in an actual neighborhood – tiny suburban houses and complaining neighbors included). Cool monster design too.

Worst Movie Called Salvage: SALVAGE (2006)

I liked the writers’ previous movie Rise Of The Dead, but this one was a snoozer, with a convoluted “personal hell” plot that would have been interesting if any of the characters were. The horrible soundtrack did it no favors either.



Hottest “Gross” Sex Scene: SPLICE

Look, I don’t care if I “raised” her – if I was a weirdo scientist that created a human-esque thing that had my frigid wife’s DNA in it, and she jumped on me, I’d probably hit it too. If nothing else, I’d have the best story to tell down at the bar. Who could top that?

Grossest “Hot” Sex Scene: SUICIDE GIRLS MUST DIE!

I’m supposed to be titillated by these girls? They’re horrible human beings, most of them look like they forgot to eat for the past couple weeks, and they’re covered in garbage tattoos. All I wanted was for them to put their clothes on and then die horribly. I didn’t get my wish (no one dies – it’s all a big prank a la April Fool’s Day).



Best Movie About Making A Movie: KILLER MOVIE

I really thought this one would suck, but it turned out to be one of the better whodunits I’ve seen since Scream, refreshingly light on humor and loaded with entertaining red herrings. And Leighton Meester gets killed horribly, preemptively making it up to us for what I’m sure will be a terrible (PG-13) time with The Roommate.

Worst Movie About Making A Movie: SPLATTER MOVIE

I’m sick to death of these movies as is (the Killer Movie folks weren’t making a horror movie), but the characters in this movie are making a movie about a killer stalking a horror movie crew! What the meta-christing fuck?!? And it looked like shit too. If you’re going to waste my time trying (and failing) to be clever, at least use a decent camera.



Best Amusement Park Movie: HOUSE OF FEARS

At long last, I got a decent funhouse movie! The logistics are a bit muddled (they’re stuck in a funhouse that would seemingly take two hours to walk through normally), but the characters are engaging, the “killed by your fear” angle works pretty good, and they kill even the characters you’d think would be safe. And there’s a random Jared Padalecki cameo!

Worst Amusement Park Movie: THE FUN PARK

Not only is this wannabe Texas Chainsaw flashback-fest a total bore, but they also don’t even use the setting to their advantage! Half the movie takes place in a standard horror movie dungeon – we see some rides in the background every now and then but the characters never even run around under them, let alone on them. Includes pointless torture scenes too, just in case you didn’t find it worthless enough already.



Best “No, Not That One” Movie: THE ECLIPSE

A “The” has never been more important to a title, as this is NOT the 3rd Twilight movie, but rather a moving and quite scary (jolt scares) ghost tale starring classy folks like Ciaran Hinds and Aidan Quinn. It’s more of a tragic romantic drama than a horror film, but those scares WORK dammit, and the movie is just plain good. And no one sparkles.

Worst “No, Not That One” Movie: COPYCAT

This is not the Sigourney Weaver/Holly Hunter serial killer flick, itself no masterpiece but an enjoyable enough thriller featuring two of their generations most under-appreciated actresses. Nope, this is a forgettable lame-ass movie about a reporter investigating a killer who copies famous serial killers, and instead of making that scenario or its characters interesting, we just get lengthy flashbacks to the killers killing someone, as if we were suddenly watching a full fledged biopic about that killer. Which we should be doing instead of watching this.



Most Satisfying Documentary Lineup: THE PSYCHO LEGACY

Considering how many principles are dead and that Robert Galluzzo didn't have any previous features under his belt (like the Never Sleep Again team did), it's even more impressive how jam-packed this movie was with personnel from all four Psycho films, including Mick Garris (the only living director of a Psycho film) and Henry Thomas (young Norman), plus the always awesome Jeff "Duke" Fahey. I also enjoyed how he focused more on the under-appreciated sequels instead of spending half the time on the original, which has been documented/written about extensively - more "franchise docs" should follow his lead (i.e. if they do a more definitive Halloween series doc - we don't need to be told about the Shatner mask for the 496th time).

Least Satisfying Documentary Lineup: VIDEO NASTIES

While the doc itself was enjoyable and informative, I was really bummed that none of the directors whose movies were among the 73 banned titles were interviewed, which could have added some much needed personal perspective on the subject. Too many stuffy old Brits, not enough "names" that could not only provide some unique insight, but also help this doc get a release over here in the States.



Best Wide Release Movie (Reader Poll): THE CRAZIES

I had to pass in my Top 10 list for Bloody Disgusting by December 1st, so it’s kind of funny that The Crazies and runner-up Splice were my top 2 choices for the year as well (the poll ran until December 8th or something). There was only a one vote difference (!), and nothing else even came close, so they both sort of won this one. And I like the dichotomy – celebrating what was easily the year’s most original movie (if you think Splice was a Species ripoff, you didn’t see it), and the year’s least offensive remake (I actually think it was an improvement). In a rather dreary and forgettable year for horror, these are two I’ll still be watching in years to come.

Best Limited/Indie Release Movie (Reader Poll): BLACK SWAN/FROZEN

It was my goof – Black Swan should have been in the wide release poll, but I wasn’t even aware folks were considering it a horror movie at the time I made the wide release poll. So Frozen, which came in 2nd (by a wide margin) shares this award, with Rec 2 coming in 2nd (3rd). And four people voted OTHER but didn’t bother to let me know what exactly was better than the 20 or so “obvious” choices I picked for the poll. At any rate, Swan’s award worthy (winning?) performances and creative “story within a story” narrative didn’t floor me as much as everyone else, but it’s undoubtedly a great movie and the best Aronofsky film I’ve seen (I’ll be seeing the others soon, now!). And Frozen was Adam Green’s best and most accomplished film yet (I HAVE seen all of his), buoyed by excellent turns by Shawn Ashmore and newcomer Emma Bell. And it’s surprisingly rewatchable as well – I figured it wouldn’t hold up on repeat viewings since the suspense is the driving force, but those quieter character moments (the puppy story!) kept me entertained on 2nd and 3rd viewings. The end credits sucked though, glad they replaced that guy for the next Ariescope film :).



So that’s it for 2010! Hopefully in 2011 we’ll see a return to some things that I let slip by (commentaries, “Second Chance” reviews), as we (I) mark the 4th anniversary of HMAD on February 7th (4 years of not missing a day on February 16th!), and 1500 movies in a row sometime in March! Don’t miss these landmark events!

HMAD Screening: DRAG ME TO HELL

I guess I need to start taking the posters into account before I pick the film for the monthly HMAD screening at the New Beverly. While I couldn't be more excited to host a screening of the underrated and (theatrically) under-seen Drag Me To Hell, I am rather disturbed by the poster's outcome, which (per Twitter demand!) follows the usual motif of replacing the actor's head with my own. See, it's usually a guy's head I'm replacing, not that of a beautiful woman. So, my apologies to Ms. Lohman, who I hope never stumbles across this monstrosity.



Anyway, the screening will be a blast. It's a great crowd film and a perfect midnight selection; last month's Psycho II was great (and thanks to all who came!), but that's not the best movie to watch at a late hour. However, this one is a non-stop bolt of energy, with Lohman getting abused in a manner that would make Ash/Bruce Campbell wince, not to mention the best dead cat gag in movie history. And yes, this is much newer than my usual movies, but that's because a bunch of you goons neglected to see it in theaters two years ago. Everyone begs Sam Raimi to come back to horror for years, he finally does, and no one shows up even though the movie's awesome. Fools!



As always; the New Beverly is located at 7165 Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles, two blocks west of La Brea. Street parking is available on Beverly and side streets (Formosa is best bet). Tickets are 7 bucks CASH at the door or online at BrownPaperTickets. Working on a special guest (no Sam for sure, he's up north shooting his Oz movie), but I'll have DVDs to give away and my usual silly intro. And it all goes down Saturday, August 27th at 11:59 PM! See you there!



P.S. Feel free to tweet, blog, facebook, etc. Include the creepy Photoshop poster! Thanks!!

HMAD Screening: URBAN LEGEND

Hell yes! As Urban Legend is my favorite post-Scream slasher by a mile, I couldn't be happier to not only see it again in glorious 35mm at the New Beverly, but to host it as well and hopefully play a part in introducing it to a few new fans.

In addition to some great direction and superb set-pieces courtesy of underrated director Jamie Blanks (this was his first film), what works about the film is that it borrows some stuff from Scream (the fresh-faced "WB-ready" cast, the whodunit mystery, the relatively high production value) but does its own thing with the humor. It's not about winking at the existence of horror films, but finding humor in the situation - best exemplified by a clueless victim singing "Turn around, bright eyes..." from "Total Eclipse Of The Heart", unaware of the killer behind her. And it's a bit cheesy (and will probably go over the heads of younger viewers*) but in 1998, Joshua "Pacey" Jackson yelping at the sound of the Dawson's Creek theme on the radio was pure bliss.

It also has some fun horror cameos from the likes of Brad Dourif and Robert Englund, from a time when this sort of thing was unusual. And speaking of horror heroes, Urban Legend was the first genre film to feature Danielle Harris in nearly a decade, which was a big deal for folks like me who had missed her presence in the genre since making such an impact in Halloween 4 and 5 (and were still pissed that she was replaced in Halloween 6). Oh, and Jared Leto from when he was known as the guy from My So-Called Life, not the douche singer of a rock band.

We're hoping to have a guest for Q&A (working on two possibilities!), but don't look for Ms. Harris - she's off in Louisiana kicking Victor Crowley's ass again in Hatchet 3 and won't be back in time. But I'll be there with my usual stack of HMAD-ified DVDs to give away, so it evens out. As always, the screening will be at the New Beverly Cinema at 7165 Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles (90036), and tickets will be 8 bucks cash at the door or online at BrownPaperTickets. It all goes down at 11:59 pm on Saturday, June 16th - see you there!

And check out that sweet poster! This is designed by Jacopo Tenani, who also designed the awesome "RIP HMAD" poster you can see to your right - if you'd like to own a beautiful silk-screen print of that one, please pre-order via Indiegogo! More details HERE. In the meantime, feel free to swipe the Urban Legend poster to pimp the screening on your blog/Facebook, and as always I welcome tweets and other ways of spreading the word about the screening! If it's a big enough draw I can convince the New Bev to show the awesome sequel later on down the road! Don't let me down!

*I understand the song has been replaced on most of the DVD/streaming versions of the show due to rights issues - making this joke even harder to "get" as the years go by.

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New Trailer: My Name Is Jonah

A while back I put up a teaser trailer for a documentary some good friends of mine are making called My Name Is Jonah. Well today they put up a new, fuller (and kind of creepy, especially that last shot) spot for the film, which is nearing the end of its post-production. So check out the trailer below, and keep an eye on their official site for updates!

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HMAD Screening: People Under The Stairs

According to BoxOfficeMojo, People Under The Stairs is one of the biggest hits in Wes Craven's career (and his last non-Scream sequel to open at #1) so I expect a big crowd for this 20th anniversary screening at the New Beverly! I am still working on getting a guest or two, unfortunately Wes will not be able to return to follow up his awesome SHOCKER appearance as he is finally taking a much deserved vacation after the last year or so (shooting/editing/promoting My Soul To Take and Scream 4 back to back). But it should still be a grand ol' time, as I will be providing my usual mumbly intro and giving out some DVDs. It all goes down on Saturday May 21st, and as always, the show kicks off at 11:59 pm at the New Beverly Cinema, and tickets are available for 7 bucks (cash only!) at the door or online at BrownPaperTickets. Street parking on Beverly and the side streets is widely available! See you there!

P.S. Feel free to pimp it out on your own blogs/Twitter/Facebook - let's pack the place!

Ebert: Legendary Critic And HMAD Reader!

UPDATE: Do any readers come from Chicago? If so, did this review appear in the print version of the Sun Times? I'd love a copy of it, or at least the issue/date it appeared in so I can order it through the CST website. I couldn't find a "publication date" or anything.

My buddy Andrew from DreadCentral.com alerted me to this a little while ago: Roger Ebert's Last House review. In the 5th paragraph, you will notice that he singles out HMAD's review (as it was the only one online at the time) when making a point about rape scenes in films. Now, he seemingly missed the point I was making (not that the RAPE was tone down, but everything ELSE was, which made the rape scene more powerful, and thus HARDER to sit through and also easier to justify the parents' actions), but I'll chalk that up to my poor writing skills.

And ordinarily I would get kind of mad if someone took part of my review out of context and sort of made me sound dumb, but since it's ROGER EBERT (!!!) I will let it slide. I know he's a smart man, and I've been a fan of his reviews for twenty years. So seeing my name (well, sort of, who the hell calls me "Fright"?) in one of his reviews is fucking AWESOME. Now I'm going to go re-read his review of Armageddon, a film he hates and I love, and yet our reviews sound almost identical.

Recommendations!

As you might expect, finding new movies isn't the easiest thing to do (not to mention all the ones I saw prior to starting HMAD - PLEASE READ THIS PAGE!). Especially those rarities in the horror genre: GOOD movies.

So this post is simply designed for readers to leave recommendations (good or bad movies, it doesn't matter)... I might not be able to respond to all of them in the thread but you'll more than likely be mentioned if/when I DO check out the film you suggested! You'll be famous-ish!!!

This will also make it easier for me to thank you for the recommendation, as I will know exactly where it is (as opposed to within the comments of a totally unrelated movie) if I don't get to it for a while.

Let's hear em!!!

(NOTE - I've been deleting responses in which the movies have been since reviewed, with a shout out to the reader who recommended it in that film's review. Trying to make this thread easier to navigate).

UPDATED Attn: Carpenter Fans!

UPDATE: NOW WITH MORE REASONS TO GO!

Well, the "special guest" I had wondered about has been revealed: JOHN CARPENTER HIMSELF. He will be there on the 13th and 14th (there is a basketball game on the 15th, so no chance in hell he'll be there). Even better (in a reverse sort of way), Saturday night's screenings of Escape from NY/LA will have a director Q&A in between, moderated by none other than... ME!

I'm not joking. I'm gonna moderate... for John... Carpenter. Creator of the greatest film of all time.

So come on down and watch the films, and don't forget to read whatever Saturday's review is, because it will probably be the last as I am sure to die of a heart attack immediately following the Q&A.

Original post follows:

My good friend Garo just sent this my way... all at the Aero theater in Santa Monica:

Friday, June 13
7:30 PM THE THING & THE FOG

Saturday, June 14
7:30 PM ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK & ESCAPE FROM L.A.

Sunday, June 15
7:30 PM HALLOWEEN & CHRISTINE

Wednesday, June 18
7:30 PM BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA & ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. No word on special guests, but I am guessing that if they are showing his best stuff all in a row (no They Live or Prince of Darkness tho?), there's gotta be a reason...

Interview!

Hey all, the good folks over at I Like Horror Movies took some time to interview none other than me, BC, for their ongoing series "Meet the Bloggers". Head on over and check out, amongst other things, my 900th plug for Cathy's Curse.

A Video With Me Talking About Stuff!

My good friend Ryan Rotten over at ShockTillYouDrop had me on his weekly vidcast show "Choice Cuts" this week, where we discussed the rather grim world of FX guys turned feature film directors. While there are a few notable bright spots (Stan Winston's Pumpkinhead), most of their efforts are rather lousy (If you see that a movie is directed by the Strause Brothers - RUN!). You can check out the video below, or click the link above to see it and all of the other episodes on the Shock page. Thanks to Ryan for having me on!

Repo Contest!

NOTE!! CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED!!!

I know I rarely do contests here, because I try to keep HMAD simple. But when it comes to movies I truly believe in that I feel aren’t getting enough love (read: promotion from their own studio), I try to help. Hence the 3rd HMAD contest: Promote Repo And Win! And the prize is way more awesome than a poster or a magnet – this is genuine MEDIA we’re talking about here!

At last weekend’s Comic Con I snagged some super rare promo CDs featuring 6 songs (it says 7 but the first one is like 4 seconds long) from Repo: The Genetic Opera. And it’s a damn good song selection; two of the songs are ones I specifically pointed out in my review as being standouts. And the others are also full fledged songs that are fun to listen to even if you don’t know what the hell they are singing about yet. Trust me, you want to hear this CD! Here is a video of one of those, Zydrate Anatomy:

But as a bonus, check it out: The CD is signed by Darren Lynn Bousman (director) and Terrance Zdunich (the mastermind behind the original stage play, who also appears in the film as Grave Robber)! So not only are the CDs pretty rare to begin with, this is certainly one of probably very few that are signed by the two biggest creative folks on the film. And it’s the ONLY one that will be mailed to the winner by me!

So how do you snag this kickass prize? Simple: promote Repo on your own site/blog. Post the trailer, post the above clip, make a banner, whatever. Want to sing along to the song and film yourself singing like that one guy from the Weezer video? Do it! Get creative!

Repo is currently scheduled for a very small release, but that can change if enough folks want to see it! The winner will be whoever I think made the best and most creative effort to spread the Repo word to others. We’re talking about a movie that is about as far from traditional as you can possibly get, so your posts should reflect that! And quantity is encouraged as well- if you want to make a post every single day of the week, go ahead! To enter, simply leave a comment on this story with a link to your post. Your post MUST include a hyperlink to the official Repo site (www.repo-opera.com) to qualify. The idea here is to get more people on board with the film, and increased traffic on the official site is the best way to do that for now.

I will choose the winner on August 10th! Good luck! And to everyone that enters – THANKS! I may have no connection to the film, but I DO watch a horror movie a day, and after a while, they all start to blend together and bore me. Movies like Repo, which are original and out there, are the types of movies I wish I could see more often. Repo’s success means more original films and less cookie cutter crap, and so I, and every other horror fan, WILL indirectly benefit from it. “Win-win-win”, as Pam Beasley might say. Also, director Bousman mentioned my beloved Armageddon in his panel for the film at Comic Con, so I kind of owe him.

And now we return you to your regularly scheduled Horror Movie A Daying.

Halloween: User Review

(Originally posted on September 10, 2007)

Last week I put out a request for someone to write a counter review for Halloween. Seeing that so many anonymous (and some not) folks called me an idiot or an asshole for disliking the film so much, I assumed they would be able to come up with a good review that could clarify their reasons for disagreeing with me.

Well maybe they don't have thick enough skin to deal with all the insults that would be tossed THEIR way, or don't know how to write anything other than "you're wrong", or maybe they just forgot, but I only got ONE entry! ONE! Kind of sad - the request has been on the main page for 10 days now, during which time we have gotten over 10,000 hits, but out of all those people, only one guy took the time to put HIS thoughts down and review the film positively.

It's not really a traditional review for the most part, but neither are my posts, so I guess it sort of fits. At any rate, thanks to reader Chip Mayhugh for answering the call, and without further adieu, I present his review for Rob Zombie's Halloween. Enjoy!

HALLOWEEN (Review)
After the first 20 or 30 minutes of Rob Zombie's new Halloween movie, I was sure little Michael Meyers was gonna grab a mic, and a baby blue sweat suit and start busting rhymes, but Haddonfield aint Detroit. Instead of picking up a pen and writing clever stanzas like the pissed off white trash kids of the late 90's, Meyers makes masks, and then he does what psycho kids do today in 2007. He killed his family.

Rob Zombie captured the summer of 2007 better than any other filmmaker. Two of the biggest horror stories of 2007 were The Virginia Tech Massacre and Michael Vick's Dog Hostel. Zombie's retelling, places a young Michael Meyers inside Jerry Springer world. His mother is a whore. Sister is a whore, and fake father is a crippled pedophile. This kid doesnt have a chance, he's killing hamsters, and whatever else he can get his hands on. And he loves wearing and making new masks.

The two Virginia Tech scumbags wore masks too. One was a mute that hid behind computer aliases, he had no friends, was getting no pussy, so he made a video and killed 30 something people. The other Hokie, Mike Vick wore a different kind of mask, a football helmet, and when he wore it he was the most loved individual in the history of the school. At night he liked to go Eli Roth on his pets.

Some of you are confused and wondering what the hell any of this has to do with Halloween. Its got alot to do with it. I wouldnt be surprised at all to turn on CNN or Fox News and see Zombie's Michael Meyers neighbor exclusive with Greta Von Braun. Zombie takes a trouble kid, and follows his journey through hell, and shows ultimately what can happen to a kid that shows serious signs of being really fucked up, when the adults around him do nothing but hope things will get better.

Pathetic health care only makes Meyers worse, and when the system totally fails him, it can no longer contain him. Zombie fails visually here going for the WWE stylized comic book character version of a Slasher. It doesnt work. We dont need a Slasher that looks like WWE, especially after seeing him as a monster with Cherub like features swinging a log at another kids head. Zombie tried too hard stylistically when he was a musician, and he still tries too hard as a director. The recurring cast members only further remove the viewer from believability. But these are small gripes for a B-movie. And thats what Halloween is, its a B-movie. And if there was a B-movie rating system, Halloween would be a 4 star movie. The cinematography is distracting and amaturish, but the nostalgic big hit song selections ballance the the compositions in a unique home made movie kind of way. And even though it is over stylized and over edited, it tells the story of todays troubled youth. The sick and violent boy that is screaming out for help, by wearing masks, and no one can see or hear the calls for help.

Parents of weird kids should see Halloween. Troubled kids put on masks. They fool adults. And of course not every kid ends up being an unstoppable Hall of Fame Slasher like Michael Meyers, but even the troubled kids that will never pick up a weapon and kill half their town, or buy a mansion in the middle of nowhere to torture dogs, are still living in tremndous pain. Recognize the symptoms. Its easy to tell that a young Jason Voorhees is fucked up, he's a tard with a bent head, uneven eyes, and he's a very poor swimmer, Michael Meyers on the other hand looks like half the kids I see Skateboarding on the steps at the bank. Carpenter's Michael Meyers was never quite as right next door. Its a different movie. We are living in a much different time.

At the end of the Summer, Jason and Michael still aren't behind bars, they are at your local box office. Talking about how fucked up everything was before things got totally fucked up. Im talking about Jason Bourne and Michael Meyers. Two fucked up kids, that you just cant kill. What are we gonna do with em.

Aw, Sorry Hitler!

As it turns out, in addition to being the absolute worst person of all time, Hitler is also a big horror fan. Sadly, he just found out that HMAD is ending next year. Here is his response:

Thanks to Mike Breiburg for putting this together! It made me laugh heartily! Excellent five year birthday present!!!

The Horror Movie A Day Store 2.0!

I have overhauled the HMAD store! Along with all of the recent films, you can easily display my favorite horror films, some "Friends of HMAD" picks, and other stuff. You can also search for books, music, video games, and non-horror movies, if such things interest you (weirdos!).

Also: it's much redder/blacker than the real Amazon!

Horror Movie A Day Store!

HMAD Screening: THE DESCENT

I gotta say, I've had a damn good slate of screenings this year at the New Beverly. While some weren't as crowded as I'd like (why was the place like 3/4ths empty for Drag Me To Hell? Fools!), it's been a great selection of movies, ranging from legitimately great flicks (Psycho II) to crowd pleasing awesome types (From Dusk Till Dawn). But this is the first time since Shocker I can honestly say I am doing one of my all time favorite movies: in fact, Neil Marshall's The Descent was actually my #1 choice when we did a "Top 20 of the decade" for Bloody Disgusting back in 2009. THAT'S HOW GOOD IT IS.

Read on for details!

I first saw the film during its US release in 2006, and it pretty much blew my mind - I was legit scared throughout most of the movie, something that never happens. That it was also gory as hell ("really scary" and "really gory" are like oil and water, usually) made it all the more impressive, and as I've said several times, I honestly think the movie would be just as great if it didn't even have the monsters. It also works on repeat viewings - the monsters actually appear more often than you'd think, since Marshall doesn't use a cheap music sting to announce their presence. Yay, subtlety!

The screening kind of snuck up on me, it's actually a week from tomorrow! Saturday, September 17th is the day, at 11:59 pm. As always, you can buy tickets at the door (cash only) or online at Brownpapertickets. The New Beverly Cinema is located at 7165 Beverly Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90036, about two blocks west of La Brea. Street parking is readily available (Formosa is your best bet) and there's a couple of gas stations nearby with ATMs if you forget cash for the ticket and/or concessions (cheapest in town! Popcorn and soda will cost less than five bucks). Working on a special guest or two, but either way I'll have a few DVDs to give out, as well as my usual charming/accidentally profane intro.

Also this might be the last HMAD screening for a while as the October schedule is filling up with special events, including the all nighter on October 1st! So while I'll be there as much as possible, I don't know if I'll be hosting anything until November or so. So if you love me you'll come!

Feel free to post/tweet/link on Facebook, and don't forget to include the awesome poster, which I based on one of the foreign designs as the common "skull-face" design was too complicated for me to figure out. Thanks, and see you there!!!

Listen To BC Talk About Non Horror Movies!

I apologize for the reviews delay - I had today (Monday) off and thus I am treating it as an extended weekend. All three weekend reviews will be up tomorrow (Tuesday).

To tide you over, you can listen to me ramble on about Cirque Du Freak, as well as Gentlemen Broncos and a pair of indie film trailers (both non-horror) as the special guest on this week's Popcorn Mafia podcast! The show, a multiple nominee for Best Film Podcast at the Podcast Awards (vote for them HERE for this year's awards!), features two lovely ladies (Grae Drake and Gariana Abeyta) dishing on movies in theaters, movies hitting DVD, and movies that are on the way. I had a good time recording the show and I was flattered that they thought to have me on as a special guest. I also got to plug Drowning Mona, so I was happy. Check it out!

HMAD gets plugged by RUE MORGUE!

Faithful HMAD reader Joolee alerted me the other day that my incessant and OCD dedication to watching obscure crap got me a nice little writeup in Rue Morgue, which is the best horror mag going, due to the fact that they are intelligent, honest, and actually fucking review movies unlike their primary competitor, Fangoria, who tells you to see every movie under the sun and then reverses their opinions on them once they tank. And charge you 100 bucks to eat ice cream with Bill Mosely.

Anyway, I scanned in the article if you want to look, but really, if you're reading this site, you probably like horror, so you should be picking up RM every month anyway. 9 bucks gets you a shitload of info (in addition to movie reviews, they also cover games, books, art, haunted locations, etc.), and when the movies are bad, their reviewers are a hell of a lot funnier than I am. But for what it's worth, the writeup is on page 10 of the newest issue (which has The Mist on the cover - I am in good company!!!)

THANKS, RUE MORGUE!

Attn: Aspiring Filmmakers/Writers

Screamfest LA is approaching (Oct 16-25th). If you've been to my site for a while you know that I am there every day soaking in all the horror goodness while eating hot pretzels by the metric ton And as always, there will be short films and a contest for best submitted screenplay, so get your entries in! Details for entry below. Good luck, and see you at the festival!

9th Annual Screamfest Horror Film Festival & Screenplay Competition takes place Oct. 16th – 25th 2009 @ Grauman’s Mann Chinese 6 at Hollywood and Highland in Hollywood. The Call For Entries deadline is approaching for new horror feature films, shorts and feature length screenplays. FINAL Film and Screenplay submission deadline is August 15th.

Feature Film judges include producers Craig Perry (Final Destination) and Sean Cunningham (Friday The 13th, The Last House On The Left). Short Films will be judged by Clive Barker's Seraphim Films. Winning screenplay receives a $1,000 cash prize and Movie Magic software.

Screamfest showcases talented genre filmmakers and writers from around the world to the entertainment industry in order to help further their careers. Writers and directors have garnered representation, winning screenplays have been optioned and/or purchased by production companies and films have secured distribution as a result of Screamfest. As well four of our past Screamfest winning directors have now directed for Sam Raimi and others have been attached to studio films. Screamfest launches careers. Are you next?

For more info on Screamfest visit www.screamfestla.com

Screamfest is sponsored by Write Brothers, Baseline, and Zodiac Vodka.

Book Recommendation!

This book has provided me too much joy (and I've only read two chapters) to not want to spread the word a bit. They're not horror, but Steven Seagal movies are just as awesome as a lot of the stuff I hawk here, so a whole book of review/essays on each and every one of his movies is almost guaranteed a good read. Plus, the author, Vern, is the funniest movie critic since Mike Nelson, IMO (if you think my rants are funny - trust me, I've got nothing on Vern). I've nearly pissed myself a dozen times so far (not really a problem if I DID, since I mostly read it on the can) and I'm only on page 26. It's called SEAGALOGY, and it's readily available (hell, I got my copy at the comic book store). Check it out!

Hatchet DVD!

You all know how much I love Hatchet... so it's no surprise I love the DVD too! It's got lots of great extras that are actually worth watching. My review of the disc is over at Bloody-Disgusting, check it out! The disc streets on December 18th, and it's the only horror movie coming out that day you should spend your money on...

The Invasion

(originally posted on May 9, 2007)

This is a non-canon review for Horror Movie A Day, since A. I already did a movie for today, 2. it was a test screening and thus I can't expect anyone else to have seen it, and D. its more of a plea to Warner Bros to reconsider releasing the film at all.

I have seen probably 3,000 movies in my life. Sounds a lot, but consider 20 years of watching, that comes out to about 150 a year. Even before this, I watched 3-4 a week or more, so I feel that's a safe estimate. Now, in all of those movies, as awful as some of them have been, there is one thing that I can't say about any of them besides The Invasion, and that is "Whoever edited this film needs to be raped to death with his own Avid".

Never, ever, in my entire movie-watching life, have I been so offended as an editor (my real job IS as an editor, non-intro readers you) to see such a god awful hack job on what is technically a major motion picture. Throughout the entire film, in addition to bizarre avid farts that show alien blood cells flying around, we are shown portions of future scenes. Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig will be talking about trying to escape, and 2 or 3 times over the course of the scene, the editor will cut to 5 or 10 seconds worth of said escape. Or Kidman will be looking for her son, and we will cut to them reunited, then back again. As you might expect, this effectively destroys every iota of suspense the film could have possibly mustered, and renders the film entirely useless, not to mention laughable. There are also repeated closeups of things like tailpipes and gas pedals being stomped, glaring continuity errors, etc. It is destined to be the most nonstop movie drinking game ever. Just taking a sip of beer every time we see something we had already seen in a previous scene will give you alcohol poisoning.

Please, Warner Bros, let someone who actually knows what the fuck he is doing re-edit this film into something that's merely boring instead of disgraceful. It's not like we don't already have THREE good versions of the film to watch in the meantime.

And goddammit, stop trying to wring some suspense out of people waiting for an elevator to take them to safety! It hasn't been exciting in 20 years, why the fuck do you think YOU can pull it off?